New Year's reolution: femme fatale

New Year's resolution anyone? Not my thing. However, I am pursuing a new endeavor to learn some French. Once I'm well equipped, I will return to Paris and stay at the Palace of Versailles, rumored to convert to a luxury hotel in order to fund reparations.  

1.) Eau de parfum = awesome smelling spray by Danika. (Perfume water)
2.) Je suis grosse = Calories are just a number. (I am fat)
3.) J'aime les oeufs avec le fromage = Eat this for hangovers. (I like eggs with cheese)

this fifties contraption was used in Hollywood to de-bloat actors' faces